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Attack Of The 50 Foot Woman (1958)

Watch her (Allison Hayes) searching for love in all the wrong places!

Click HERE to see her break everything she touches!

"Come to ME baby! Give me your... stuff!"

You will be SHOCKED! that you are actually watching this crap.

You will be AMAZED! that other people actually paid money to watch this junk.

You will be MESMERIZED! thinking about what to have for dinner tomorrow.

You will be TERRIFIED! that this clip may never end!

You will be REALLY SURPRISED! to realize that you ever even considered having a sex change.

You will be RELIEVED! when it’s finally over!

You will be THANKFUL! that you weren’t a movie goer when Hollywood made this kind of nonsense.

You will be GRATEFUL! if you could find me and beat the crap out of me for putting this where you could watch it.

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Californication: TV Series

Not the Mona Lisa5 Stars
If you have ever had a wet dream, you will be right at home. If you have not, this will give you some excellent material in the aforesaid.
Those of you who will wail and rail about the promiscuity displayed in this series have OBVIOUSLY never lived in SoCal, where Ripe Poontang falls from the trees and a Hard Tan Man is good to find.
A quote that has been attributed to PABLO PICASSO: “Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist when he grows up.”
CALIFORNICATION is an in-process contemporary work of art, painted on that canvas. CALIFORNICATION features artist-characters clinging to their adolescence (preserving their childlike qualities to maintain their artistry) while childishly mixing their mature bodies with a more mature civilization. Despite their best, or void, of intentions, they end up behaving badly in a Tragicomedy. Tragic Comedy, an oxymoron? Not in the context of Californication.
If anyone in the audience believes that CALIFORNICATION is extra-normal for it’s setting, you obviously have never in Venice, Malibu, or Hollywood. I came of age in So-Cal in the 60s-80s, and being neither rich nor famous, got more strange tang, drugs and booze than Hank Moody as a staple diet. Neither my bad, or my good. It is just life there in Neitherland. Think of Hank, Charlie, and others as 12 year-olds having to function as adults with all the complexities of parenthood, career, and social responsibility… all the while maintaining the overhead of eternal adolescence.
If you can get past the impact of drugs, sex, and rock and roll upon a mid-western upbringing and morals, you might really get a HOOT out of CALIFORNICATION, as many of us do.
Hey… it’s Hollywood.
It will make you laugh, and make you cry…
and sometimes make you wish you could live your life over,
making different choices.

Link for an insight into the Series scripting.

Teaser for Season 5.

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Full Length Feature: Beautiful Girls

Beautiful Girls 5 Stars

  1. It takes a basic level of talent to arrange 26 letters into understandable words and then into intelligent sentences.
  2. It takes a higher level of talent to capture the essences of life, then translate those essences into a script.
  3. I am envious of the superb writing in this film.
  4. I am extremely impressed with the arrangement and application of talent incorporated into this tale of life.

I kept waiting for Uma to show up, only to realize that Id been watching her for some time. She has changed.

Love or hate Rosie, she does a splendid job in a great role here. Superb acting from the entire cast. There are not enough stars to recommend this movie.

As icing on the cake, I enjoyed watching the movie from Florida as the cast slopped around in snow the entire movie.

Do this one. You will not regret the 113 minutes so engaged.

Movie Quotes:

Paul: So you’re the little neighborhood Lolita.
Marty: So you’re the alcoholic high school buddy shit for brains.

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Jan: Only when faced with losing me do you decide you want to spend the rest of your life with me.
Paul: So, what’s wrong with that? I didn’t like the alternative. I mean that’s how one usually comes to a decision anyway, right?
Jan: Wrong again, Paul – one comes to a decision based on what one wants, not based on what one doesn’t want. Got it?

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[Rosie’s Drug Store scene.]

Gina: I’m finished speaking to both of you okay? You’re both fucking insane. You want to know what your problem is? MTV, Playboy, and Madison fucking Avenue. Yes. Let me explain something to you, ok? Girls with big tits have big asses. Girls with little tits have little asses. That’s the way it goes. God doesn’t fuck around; he’s a fair guy. He gave the fatties big, beautiful tits and the skinnies little tiny niddlers. It’s not my rule. If you don’t like it, call him. (to shop owner) Hey Mitch. Thank you. (Looking at a porn magazine) Oh, guys, look what we have here. Look at this, your favorite. Oh, you like that?
Tommy: I could go along with that.
Gina: Yeah, that’s nice right? Well, it doesn’t exist OK? Look at the hair. The hair is long, it’s flowing, it’s like a river. Well, it’s a fucking weave OK? And the tits, please! I could hang my overcoat on them. Tits by design were invented to be suckled by babies. Yes, they’re purely functional. These are Silicon City. And look, my favorite, the shaved pubis. Pubic hair being too unruly and all. Very key. This is a mockery, this is a sham, this is bullshit! Implants, collagen, plastic, capped teeth, the fat sucked out, the hair extended, the nose fixed, the bush shaved… These are not real women, all right? They’re beauty freaks. And they make all us normal women with our wrinkles, our puckered boobs, [to another man] Hi Bob, [to Tommy & Willie] and our cellulite feel somehow inadequate. Well I don’t buy it, all right? But you fucking mooks, if you think that if there’s a chance in hell that you’ll end up with one of these women, you don’t give us real women anything approaching a commitment. It’s pathetic. I don’t know what you think you’re going to do. You’re going to end up eighty-years old, drooling in some nursing home, then you’re going to decide, it’s time to settle down, get married, have kids? What, are you going to find a cheerleader? [giving her card to the shopowner] Charge it Mitch.
Tommy: I think you’re over simplifying.
Gina: Oh eat me. Look at Paul. With his models on the wall, his dog named Elle MacPherson. He’s insane. He’s obsessed. You’re all obsessed. If you had an once of self-esteem, of self-worth, of self-confidence, you would realize that as trite as it may sound, beauty is truly skin-deep. And you know what, if you ever did hook one of those girls, I guarantee you’d be sick of her.
Tommy: Yeah, I suppose I’d get sick of her after about, what, twenty or thirty years?
Gina: Get over yourself! Thank you Mitch. Say hello to Gertrude.
Tommy: What?
Gina: No matter how perfect the nipple, how supple the thigh, unless there is some other shit going on in the relationship, besides the physical, it’s going to get old, OK? And you guys, as a gender, have got to get a grip. Otherwise, the future of the human race is in jeopardy. [she walks away]
Willie: What was that?
Tommy: I don’t know, but a great ass.
Willie: Nice tits. Come on let’s go.